


Breathe

by fangirlfindingfun



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 01:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13964589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlfindingfun/pseuds/fangirlfindingfun
Summary: Hera returns to Lothal to have her son. Things don't go as planned and she has to go it alone with only memories to keep watch. (Oh and Chopper)





	Breathe

BREATHE

****Breathe Hera….her mother’s voice. The pain of her injured leg nearly overwhelming. The image before her was of her mother carefully applying a bacta patch and delicately sealing the large wound, the result of an attempt to climb into a downed fighter ship. Her mother hummed an old Rylothian lullaby to soothe her while she set to work.****

Hera shook her head and took another deep breath through her nose. The pain encircled her whole abdomen now. It was shocking. She had heard enough stories from nearly every mother she met in the last six months, but it had not really prepared her for what the pain would be. Breathing deeply and steadily, she curled in on herself until the pain passed. She fell back into the large chair in the common room aboard the Ghost, Zeb’s chair. This was only her second real contraction in the last half hour and they were only a minute in length, still plenty of time she thought. She relaxed a bit and felt slightly better about the fact she was alone on the Ghost. Well she wasn't quite alone. The nearly frantic whirring and buzzings sounds of the droid in the cockpit had caught her attention again. 

“Chop, I’m fine” she shouted. “And no, you cannot stop those diagnostic checks when they’re halfway done. Just stand by and don’t you dare call anyone yet, these things take lots of time.” 

The droid whirred and clicked in response. “I know it was a minute Chop, I’m timing them too you know.”

She sounded annoyed, but truth be told, she was glad the little droid was still there. The others, Rex, Kallus and Zeb had all gone into town with Sabine to meet at what was once Old Joe’s place. Now it was run by Jai and Mart and was a favorite hangout for all of Lothal’s liberators. Rumor had it that even Vizago and Hondo were arriving on planet to meet the gang again. Word had gotten out that Hera had chosen to spend her last few weeks of pregnancy here on Lothal so that the son of Kanan Jarrus could be born on the planet on which he had finally found his home. Hera had planned to join the party tonight, but was feeling out of sorts and had chosen to stay behind on the Ghost. Rex had not wanted to leave her, but she knew he was looking forward to seeing Hondo again. Probably because Hondo owed Rex a large sum of credits. In the end she was able to talk him into it. Sweet Rex, she remembered the day she had told him about her pregnancy. Actual tears had fallen from his eyes. He had gently taken her hand and pledged to stay with her for as many years as he had left. He would live and die for her and the son of his friend. The memory of his earnest promise brought a smile to her face. Rex was such a dear man. He was one of the few she knew understood why her heart would always belong to Kanan. Rex had loved and lost many. 

Anticipating a long night, Hera rose and headed over to the galley to make some tea. Reaching for Kanan’s old mug, her favorite now, she felt another wave of contractions. Grabbing the counter she took a sharp intake of air. This one was stronger than the last. She struggled to catch her breath. 

***“Breathe Hera, you have to take control of this.” It was her father’s voice this time, stern and calm. “You have to pull yourself together now.” She stood before a large stone slab. Two shrouded bodies lay before her, her mother and the small form of her little brother. Both killed by a Separatist bomb. She had been sobbing and shaking. The pain too much to bear. The others were due to come in and her father needed her to compose herself. “Breathe my daughter, breathe.”***

Hera breathed. She slowed her intake and took control. In and out, in and out. She continued until the pain had passed. That one had come sooner than she had expected. Chopper had noticed and warbled down to her. 

“Yes Chopper I noticed it lasted longer this time too. What are you doing, using your long range scanners?” 

Chopper responded, that he, in fact, was using his long range sensors because she was obviously incapable of making a rational acknowledgement that she was soon going to be expelling her offspring. Lucky for her, he had downloaded an obstetrics program last time they had visited the medbay on Yavin IV and he knew precisely what needed to be done. 

Hera nearly dropped the mug she had grabbed upon hearing this. “Uhhh, thanks, Chop, but I think we should probably stick to the human medic Sabine had arranged.” She snickered at Choppers response about overseeing the whole thing at the very least. 

She went back to making the tea. Wrapping her hand around the mug that Kanan had held so often on their long voyages, or times when the kids were out on missions. It was a warm mug, with a good weight to it. No wonder Kanan had made it his favorite. She took a sip of the hot tea and felt a bit fortified. Taking the tea back to the common room, she resumed her position in the oversized chair. Folding her legs she put her hands on her knees. She absently picked at the fabric of the old pajama bottoms she wore. They had been Kanan’s too. The top was large, but the bottom part of her round belly hung out of the last button anyway. She stared across the lounge at the small painting Sabine had done for her. An image of their family, happy and together. Ezra’s bright blue eyes staring out to her. She still could not believe he had left her too. She was lost in his eyes when the next contraction came. 

This one came quickly. She had barely had five minutes since the last contraction in the galley. She reminded herself to control her breath. Breathe in, Breathe out.

***“C’mon Hera, just take a deep breath. Look at this rationally.” It was Ezra’s voice this time. He stood before her looking sheepish, hands open, palms up. “Look, I’m really sorry about the Phantom. I know what I did was stupid and irresponsible and all, but it really worked out in the end. Right? We got all the ships we needed. Right?” She let out the breath she had been holding, threw up her hands and rolled her eyes at this boy she had grown to love. *** 

The echo of Ezra brought a tightening in her throat that had nothing to do with the pain she was now feeling. She had searched, when she wasn’t pouring herself into work for the rebellion. She would never stop searching for him. She had a feeling he had somehow made it through hyperspace as he had made it through so many close calls before. But where, she could not even begin to fathom. She had to trust the Force on this one and hope he would return to his family one day. Sabine had taken it upon herself to be sure his homeworld was safe and scoured clean of all the Empire’s days of occupation when he did at last come home. 

The pain subsided, but the chrono on her wrist told her that she was going to be delivering her son much sooner than she had thought or hoped. It would seem she did need Chopper now, so she called him back. 

“Okay Chop, you win, disengage the diagnostic and call Sabine please.”

Sounding satisfied, Chopper chirped and retracted his connector port. Hera could hear him call up Sabine’s comlink as he zoomed unnecessarily quickly down the gangplank from the cockpit. 

“Hera,” Sabine sounded surprised and maybe just a little bit slurred. “Is everything okay?”

Hera could hear music and loud laughter in the background. “Not really, Sabine” Hera replied. “I think I am going to need you to fetch that medic of yours back to the Ghost.”

“Now?” Sabine shouted above the din of sound on her com. 

“Yes, now!” Hera’s voice pitched higher than usual. The background noise from Old Joes’ dropped audibly as her voice had made its way past Sabines wrist. 

“Okay, okay, we got this, we will be right there, just hold on and breathe or whatever. Don’t worry, I got this, I’ll just go and get the medic and we will be there in no time.” Replied Sabine, sounding flustered. “I’ll send Zeb and Rex back now and I’ll get the medic and be right there. Wait, did I already say that? Rex!”, Her shout blaring through the comlink. “Run out and get Zeb and Kallus back in here, we have to go! ...Yeah, I do know what they are doing, but get them anyway!...Okay, Hera,” Sabines voice dropped back from a shout. “ I’m..we are coming.”

“It’s okay Sabine, just slow down. I’m not going anywhere and these things take time.” she replied. “See you when you get here.” If the situation had been different Hera would have laughed out loud at Sabine. The Mandalorian women was rarely without a plan A and a plan B. Hearing her sound scattered reminded Hera of when Sabine was just a girl, unsure and hot headed. Yet, as time had passed she had amazed Hera through every adventure with her ingenuity and decision making. Suddenly she was acting like a frightened blurrg. Still, Hera was fiercely proud of Sabine. Like Ezra, she had grown so much in these last few years. Hera was looking forward to the weeks ahead to hear of all the improvements Sabine had made to the landscape of Lothal. 

Chopper approached Hera and womped and buzzed his suggestions on what to do while they waited for Sabine and the medic. He went so far as to uncross her legs gently, put her feet on the floor and insist she return to her bunk. This lounge was no place to have to have a baby and furthermore he was not interested in having to clean up the resulting mess. Something that most assuredly was not in his programming. 

“Okay, okay, we can head to my bunk.” She walked up the ramp back toward the cockpit. She passed Sabines old room, on the left. Rex had moved in for now, rather enjoying Sabine’s artwork and touches of Mandalore. He said it made him feel closer to his own heritage. His only addition was a pair of Jaig eyes on the outside of the door, which he had painted himself. He was a fair painter after so many years of touching up his own armour. 

Opposite was Zeb and Kallus’ room. Hera smiled at the thought of these two together now. She loved Zeb dearly and was glad he had found his own happiness. Hera had forgiven Kallus for all he had done to them early on. Anger was too much to carry around anymore and Kallus had proven his loyalty more than once. 

Next on the right was Kanan’s room. Hera had left the room untouched for the most part. The only exceptions were the Kalikori on the side table and the small infant bed Chopper had bolted in for her. She found, in the early days after the loss of Kanan and Ezra, that spending time in the room was too painful. Rex had helped her to see otherwise and now she spent most nights sleeping in his bunk, using her room for mechanical parts and a place to store her belongings. She reached the door switch and punched it open just as another even stronger contraction brought her to her knees. 

****“General Syndulla...Hera, you have to breathe”. It was Rex this time. He gently put his arm around her shoulders as she clenched her teeth to hold back her emotions. Two months after they had liberated Lothal, they were stationed on Yavin IV when she had needed to come into Kanan’s room for something, she didn’t even remember what it had been now. She had stopped dead in the doorway unable to cross the threshold. She couldn’t do it. She could not go in. It was too hard. Rex had been right behind her and had read her reaction immediately... “Hera,” he sighed, “I have been a soldier my whole life. I have lost brothers and friends and.. even Ahsoka. One thing I have learned about grief is that you cannot go around it, you cannot avoid it, you have to go through it. Then you can be open finding peace and joy in the memories not pain. Let me help you.”He had gently led her in then and held her when she could no longer hold back. “Breathe Hera, just breathe. You will get through this.”****

Hera controlled her breath again. When the pain stopped, she stood up. Her pajamas were soaked through and there was a puddle on the floor. 

Chopper squeaked: “You are losing fluid at an alarming rate.” 

“Very funny Chopper, do you mind just giving me a hand.” The astromech helped her across the room to the lower bunk. She was shivering violently, not so much from the cold but because the whole of what was inevitable had finally hit her. She was going to deliver her son right here in this room and soon. At the rate her labor was progressing, she knew the others would not make it back in time to be much help. She was going to have to do this alone.

Pulling off her wet pajamas she slipped under the blankets and again curled up as much as her round belly would allow. 

“Well, Chopper”, she said through chattering teeth. “I guess I am going to need you to access that obstetrics program after all.”

Spinning frantically the astromech rolled out of the room. " Hey, where are you going?" Hera could hear him tossing around tools in her quarters.. 

“Chopper, I don’t think a hydrospanner is the right tool for the jo..” But she didn’t finish as she was overcome with pain again. This time it was coupled with a feeling of heat in her groin and an urgent need to push. She tried to focus her breathing again, but she was so overwhelmed with what was happening that she lost it. Choking sobs and hyperventilating was not going to help, but she couldn’t get control, it was too much. 

***“Wait. I have to catch my breath!” They said it simultaneously. She and Kanan had laughed then, happy in the moment. They had been kissing, a simple peck at first and then it had intensified to open mouth desire, surprising them both and literally taking their breath away. They had stolen this moment. The kids had gone with Ryder to scout out the Defenders and they had been left alone in Ezra’s old tower on watch. It had started innocently enough with a bit of flirting. Kanan putting on his charming half smile, his perfect eyebrows raised. A flash of the man she had first met. Their conversation from the day before about alone time had resonated with both of them. It had been a long time. As soon as she had taken off her gloves to touch his cheek they had both known where it would lead. Maybe it was the impending rebel assault and the feeling that time was running out, but Hera had given in to desire freely and with an urgency that surprised her. She led Kanan by the hand to what had once been Ezra’s old bunk. Not exactly the cleanest place in the galaxy, but that didn’t matter right now. They quickly undid zippers and buckles as their clothes fell to the floor. Each trying desperately not to break their kiss while at the same time trying to touch each new stretch of exposed skin. It had been a very long time since they could take the time and energy to get their garments off completely. When their desire had finally been satiated they both were panting. “Breathe Hera” Kanan’s voice teasing, and out of breath himself. Rolling off of him she sunk next to his warm body as he wrapped her in his arms. Both of them damp with sweat “Okay, maybe we both should breathe, I think I’m out of practice. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to catch my breath for this kind of activity. Remember. In and out, slow and steady.” His voice took on it’s Jedi quality as he coached them both.***

In and out. Breathe. The echo of his voice mixed with hers now and she used it as a mantra to gather strength for what had to come next. It was time to bring his son into this world. Kanan was gone now and she was going to do this alone. 

\----------------------------

From Kanan’s bunk she could hear running footsteps banging against the gangplank. Voices of what was left of her little family tripping over one another. Comments like “where is she?” “Check the cabins!” ”She’s not here!” were shouted throughout the ship. She would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all had she not been so exhausted. 

Finally the door slid open to reveal the shocked faces of Sabine, an unknown woman, presumably the medic, and Rex, with Zeb and Kallus vying for position and trying to poke their heads through the space not filled by the others. Hera lay on the bunk, sweat covered, trembling, with a tiny wrapped form clutched to her breast. The shock of green hair on the top of his head blending with Hera’s smooth green skin as she nursed her son. 

“Hera, I brought the medic..but I see we are a bit late. You said it would take time, I’m so sorry. I don’t exactly know much about this stuff. Are you okay, is he okay. Oh,” her voice softened as she stepped into the room. “Can I see him?” 

She was immediately intercepted by Chopper as he turned on his electric shock probe and blocked everyone’s entry. He whomped and whirred while the new arrivals backed out of the room. 

“Okay, okay Chopper, sorry we are late. I get it, you did everything yourself. Yes, we are so lucky you are the most loyal droid in the galaxy. Got it, we will go sanitize straight away! But the medic stays.” Chopper allowed the newcomer to approach Hera and begin checking her over. 

“Sabine, please stay, Hera intoned. Rex, Zeb, Kallus, this is not exactly how I want you to see your General, so if you don’t mind, can you give us a bit of time? 

“Of course Hera, whatever you need.” Zeb spoke up, “but when you are ready, I got first dibs on the little Loth-kitten!”

Hera smiled at her old friend, “of course Zeb.” 

“Hera, I really am so sorry we were too late to be much help. You are amazing. I can’t believe you did this alone. Sabine approached Hera while the medic took the baby for a quick exam. 

The baby began to cry piteously as the medic put him through a health check. She quickly finished and wrapped him tight again handing him back to Hera, by now the red faced infant was squalling at the top of his tiny lungs.

“It’s okay Sabine, I was never really alone.”

Hera gently took her sweet son and snuggled him close to her breast again. Kissing the top of his tiny head. She began to absently hum an old Rylothian lullaby. “Breathe little one, breathe.”


End file.
